8.24.2004
Olympic Carbohydrates
So the Olympics has been on for over a week now. It is non-stop Olympics. Olympic games. Olympic fashion. Olympic medal standings. Olympic media coverage. Olympic-sized sales. Olympic sized-savings. The Olympics have caused me to become transfixed on the TV set for hours at a time. I cannot make plans because I must make time for the Olympics. My husband wakes up in the morning and turns on Olympics, and after eschewing them the night before, I instantly pop awake to partake in MORE Olympic watching. I cannot escape the Olympics. It is everywhere. I am feeling oppressed by the Olympics... and carbs. I fell the same overwhelming sense of media overload about the horrible horrible carbohydrates that infest all of the food I enjoy eating as I do about the Olympic Games (insert soundbyte of the Olympics theme song with graphic of Athens 2004). The entire country is on a diet to cut back on carbs. Suddenly they are the worst thing in the world. I feel like they have betrayed me. All along living in the foods I consume, never making me aware of just how insidious they really are. Thank goodness for the diet fad craze that has alerted me to the fact that carbs are the waistline's sworn enemy, and that eating ANY item with over 3g of carbs in it will instantly cause you to swell up to mammoth proportions, and be a porker for life. I have obviously been struck with an insurmountable amount of luck that this has not happened to me yet. The only remedy is to run in fear of carbs. If you cannot do it on your own, there will be armed anti-carb patrol to monitor your exit from the grocery store. They will summarily destroy any food item you purchase that contains any amount of those dastardly carbs. I even heard rumors that people who consume large amounts of carbohydrates will be marked with large Cs on their foreheads so that you know not accept any food items from them... but so far I think that's just a rumor.. shhh... Exception: Olympic athletes. They are allowed to eat carbs. Their superhuman athletic capabilities have made their bodies immune to those wily carbs and their fat inducing behavior. In fact, Olympic athletes are ENCOURAGED to eat large amounts of carbs. Is this some sort of on-looker jealousy taking place? "Oh suuuure Mr. Olympic Athlete, eat a bunch of carbs... they're GOOD for YOU. (snicker) " And then the jealous ones will watch as the athletes themselves bloat up to insane proportions, laughing the whole time. ¶ 12:58 1 comments : Post a Comment links to this post Comments: Links to this post: |
Some little thoughts that come out of my head.
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